The Hovering Air

Snow and fog seem so eerie on Christmas Eve; however, sitting by your grave is fitting. “I know we argued before the accident, but we were about to commit for the rest of our lives,” I said aloud. I pondered watching the icy air thicken as floating icicles sparkled in the air. “If only…” I paused. I felt a cold, lingering air hover over me and a whisp on the back of the neck like a brush of a hand. I shivered and quickly exited the cemetery. Every week visiting, I never felt like this before. I turned and said softly, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”  With no one around, I felt as if I was being watched.

As I drove away, I was remembering the day you died one year ago tomorrow. We were fighting over dumb stuff with wedding planning being the mire of our disagreements. We were getting ready to go to your parents and I needed an ingredient for my pumpkin pie. I cannot believe we argued over who could run to the store. I won, but that victory proved later to be devastating to my soul. When you did not return quickly, I knew something awful happened. I felt it in my bones. After the police and ambulance came and they told me the brakes on my car gave out, I was in dismay. The car was only a year old. How could that be? I miss you so much…

I spent the rest of the evening alone in my thoughts and watching our favorite Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. As I watched the movie, I questioned myself as to whether Jude and I have, or would have had a wonderful life. The lights were down for the movie, but a desk lamp suddenly came on. It was not remote controlled or on a timer. I freaked out, “What?”  I jumped, ran to my bedroom, pulled the covers over my head, and eventually fell asleep.

The next morning, the tv remained on, but the lamp was off. “Hmm, must have been a short.”  I mused as I got ready to leave for the cemetery. I stopped at my mailbox. I had a forwarded letter, but the original postmark was about eleven months ago. My mechanic sent me a report about my totaled car. “No, this cannot be!”  The brake lines had been cut.

The ominous fog still lingered as I arrived at Jude’s grave. Sitting down on the ground, I said, “I love you, but I am questioning why my brake lines were cut. We would be married by now if you were…”  Like yesterday, the cold feeling came over my neck, but stronger this time, as I jerked around to nothing. However, I felt my scarf tighten around my neck where I could hardly breathe. No one was there! “Jude, help me!”

            Gasping my last breath, a voice sinisterly whispered, “I’ll help finish the job I planned a year ago…”